I've started to realize that, as much as I'm trying to draw a line between those people at school who are crazy and those people at school who aren't crazy (like me) but I regret to say that we (that is, them and me) are not really that different. I know people who like me, people who don't, people who don't know me, people who couldn't care less. The thing is, there are so many people that I can't hate everything about everybody! So I've decided to change. A bit, at least. Be nicer to people who are nice to me, stop being mean to people for doing things that they probably think are okay and are all Why's she making a big deal of it? when I am, I suppose, making a big deal out of it. And if it doesn't work out, then I'll know that I tried, and that that's what counts.
Sometimes I wish I could just wear my pajamas everywhere. But I end up dressing up everytime I go out in the constant fear that I'll meet someone I know and then I will have to interact with them. But maybe interacting with people isn't so bad. Maybe I should talk to people more, because, as my parents are constantly reminding me, people don't bite.
It's not very fun, school. I'm always being told "Pull your socks up! You have to write your exams in less than a year! Don't you want to get good grades?" WELL, I DON'T WANT TO STUDY. I DON'T WANT TO GET GOOD GRADES (okay, maybe I do.). I JUST WANT TO BE A KID SOMETIMES, Y'KNOW?
But that's the thing. No-one knows. Not my friends. Not my teachers. Not even my parents. My french teacher keeps telling me about how he grew up in Africa and walked 3 miles to school, and studied from 4 to 7 in the morning. My parents keep telling me about how they studied for 3 hours every day when they were in high school. Everyone has such high expectations, because the only experience they've had is their own childhood, and what it felt like to be them. Well, I'M NOT THEM and it's high time someone realized that. Or at least acknowledged it.
I haven't been good about keeping commitments lately, and I forgot to read this week's book club chapters. Again. I feel like I've been neglecting reading and watching televison and doing anything that's not studing, but the worst part is that I know that that's not the case. I've had plenty time to read, I just watched a movie, and last place I went was to the movie theater.
I feel like I keep doing things I disapprove of, and hypocrisy is, in my opinion, the worst crime that can be committed. Which just adds to my problems. I despise the mall, but I miraculously
end up needing something from there every week. I don't feel like it's a social thing - I need a new black skirt for choir, I don't have an option, do I?
Oh, well. This is just one of them pointless rants that people with no life put on the internet in the hope that someone will read it even though they know that no-one will.
And since you took the trouble to read this (or atleast scroll down the page) here is a pointless .gif that didn't make me laugh, because it isn't funny. It's just plain pointless.
